WARNING: Due to personal circumstances and the upcoming sentimental holiday season, this week’s Joltlist may be more self-indulgent than you are used to from me. It’s the Sunday before Christmas, though, what do you expect?
Goals. I’ve come to believe they are things that can really mess with your head. You can hit a bunch of goals and never feel satisfied, much less deeply satisfied. I liken it to setting a ladder next to a building, climbing up it, getting to the top and realizing that you are on the wrong street, possibly the wrong city. Dang, it’s possible that you are not even in the right state!
Desired Outcomes, on the other hand, are anchored in a vision we have created with a great deal of thought. I was listening to a program today that said we think that life is a train where we get on and then get off at our designation. Maybe, they said, life is more like a sailboat. We need to check the wind each morning to see how the wind is blowing. Adjust our course. We need help to man the sail and get us through the storms. I like that. If felt right to me. My life has been full of storms and lots of smooth sailing on some days like I know yours has.
Image may be NSFW.
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I have no idea what will create a deeply satisfying accomplishment for you. You know why? Because I’m not you. I’m not married to who you are married to. I might not even be the same sex as you. I certainly haven’t had exactly the same experiences as you have had. We had different parents and probably went to different schools growing up. I am hoping that you didn’t try to sabotage your success as many times as I did up until about 12 years ago.
December 19, 2002, I had a spiritual experience that gave me a knowing that I was supposed to stop drinking. Against my better judgment, I did. I don’t know if I would recommend it to others. It sure did suck at first. For me, though, it created what I believe to be the most deeply satisfying accomplishment of my life.
Last Friday, December 19, 2014, our daughter, Melody McNutt graduated Summa Cum Laude from Virginia Tech. She was the featured graduate in their school’s paper, The Collegiate Times. She has a job that will move her to in Washington, DC next month. A real job… one where we won’t have to supplement her income or send food on Saturdays. The type of job, salary and benefits that my husband or I couldn’t have gotten until a few years ago. (I asked her if they were still hiring). She’s beautiful, speaks 6 languages. She gets pissy if I forget one of them and say only 4 or something… to which I tell her that I still haven’t gotten a full grasp of the English language so give me a break and stop bragging.
Melody is so many things I wasn’t at 21. She’s single for starters and debt-free. She doesn’t use drugs that I know of. She hates the feeling of being drunk (really? I used to love that, it was the hangovers that stunk). She’s wise. She knows when to be charming and when to be direct. She’s thoughtful and can be very kind. She’s too responsible and hard on herself. I’ve taught her how to exaggerate her strengths and minimize those things that would disconnect her from people she needs to impress to get where she wants to go professionally. She fakes emotions, sometimes, that others feel and doesn’t always say what she thinks exactly when she thinks it. This is a trait she is trying to teach me. I’m slow on the uptake on that one which can easily be verified by anyone who has known me for more than 3 minutes.
I wish for each of you that you have or will experience what our family did last Friday. Every person should have a moment that takes their breath away and creates tears of joy that stream down their face.
I don’t know what’s next. I can’t wait to see what the sea brings tomorrow.
